Yahuah is STILL in control.

by Hadarah | Dec 28, 2025 | Motivation

Surrender

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Yahuah is STILL in control.

I don’t know about you, but the journey I’ve been on in 2025 has shown me that I still need a lot more growth in the areas of humility and surrender. I want to share a personal testimony with you today. I pray it will help you on your journey, and help to confirm your belief that Yahuah is still in control.

“And you shall remember that יהוה your Elohim led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you, prove you, to know what is in your heart, whether you guard His commands or not. 

And He humbled you, and let you suffer hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, to make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but by every Word that comes from the mouth of יהוה.”

Deuteronomy 8:1-3 TS2009

Accepting that Yahuah is in control means you have to accept that you are not. You have to surrender. To admit that all you can do is your best in order to heal, to truly forgive, both yourself and others, and to leave the rest in the hands of The Most High – all of that takes humility and surrender. That’s something I hope to develop more of.

A fast for healing.

Fibroids are benign tumors, if you’re not familiar with them. They were causing me to have a lot of negative symptoms that I won’t get into right now. But most importantly it seemed like they were preventing me from having a successful pregnancy.

With a focus on healing, I did several dry fasts this year, starting in April 2025, and continuing once every month or so, in addition to changing my diet and exercise routines. The most recent dry fast was 7 days. Yes, 7 days with no food and no water. It was a soft dry fast so I still was able to shower and brush my teeth, but I ate no food and drank no water. It may sound crazy, but I did my research, worked up to it slowly, prepared mentally and physically, and I was ready for it. I was convinced that doing a 7 day dry fast would completely reverse and dissolve the fibroids.

After the fast

After the 7 day dry fast, it felt like the fibroids were totally gone. Before the fast, I could still feel at least one fibroid protruding outward below my belly button, but afterwards, I seriously couldn’t even feel that one anymore. So I went in for my annual ultrasound, just about two weeks after the 7 day dry fast, with seriously high hopes that those tumors were gone.

Last night, I got the results back, and I was very disappointed to see that somehow the tumors were basically the same size today as they were last year at this time. One of them was slightly smaller. How was that even possible?

I was shocked because all the research and books I read said that benign tumors like fibroids shrink on the 5th day of a dry fast. I read at least 4 books on fasting, and I expected that the tumors would have at least been significantly smaller from all the time spent in deep autophagy. That wasn’t the case for me, but still, I know Yahuah is in control!

I had to realize that no matter how much knowledge I had accumulated, I could not do this in my own strength. Even though I prayed while I was fasting, and meditated on scripture, I realize now that there was still some pride in my heart. Yah hates pride, and I still need to get rid of some of it. I realize now that there are still some people I haven’t truly forgiven. Some pain that I’m still holding on to, all of that is prideful and I need to let go of it.

A good report

I praise Yah because even though the fibroids are still in my womb, the test results show that the fibroids are stable. Most women with fibroids find that they grow, and that their fibroid symptoms often get worse over time, until it reaches the point where they wind up removing their uterus, or doing some other surgery to help with their symptoms.

The largest fibroids in my womb are around 6cm, some women have them growing to 20cm and more. Some women have to deal with the psychological impact of looking 6 months pregnant all the time, and having to feel the pressure and weight of the tumors pressing down on their other organs. Not to mention excessive and uncontrollable heavy bleeding.

Praise Yah that my symptoms never got as bad as some women have to handle, and the majority of the symptoms I was experiencing from fibroids prior to fasting are now gone! That is HUGE! I have to give thanks for that.

“How precious is Your loving-commitment, O Elohim! And the sons of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. They are filled from the fatness of Your house, And You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures. For with You is the fountain of life; In Your light we see light.”

Tehillim (Psalms) 36:7-9 TS2009

Renewed Joy

My happiness level has increased 10 fold this year – mostly because I’m not in pain anymore. No pain means I have freedom to move and do the things I love, and not be laid up in bed for several weeks every month with no energy. The symptoms I used to deal with are SO much more manageable, and I feel SO much better since changing my lifestyle.  HallaluYAH!

Another Bonus

I’m still super passionate about gardening, and that keeps me really active. We had an amazing year for pomegranates this fall, and we’re about to start harvesting citrus. I’ve also really gotten into doing pushups and squats, rebounding, and stretching, and I just love the way that eating healthy and doing all these activities makes me feel. 

“Those who are planted in the House of יהוה Flourish in the courts of our Elohim.

They still bear fruit in old age; They are fresh and green,

To declare that יהוה is straight, My rock, and in Him is no unrighteousness.”

Psalm 92:13-15, TS2009

Shifting Focus

The next step for me is to practice being more humble, and to learn to truly forgive. There’s one important family relationship that I need to work on. I need to let go of all the hurt and emotional pain still bottled up inside of me. There’s a lot I just haven’t dealt with. I realized that post fasting. These tumors are not just physical, they are spiritual, I truly see that now. And I need to finally let everything that really needs to go, actually be gone – for good. I’m not sure how I will process it all, but I’m sure it will be quite the process lol. Maybe some good journaling and songwriting will come out of it. We shall see. Yahuah will help me through it all.

I haven’t been very productive with music this year – thank you for all your patience with that. I was just so focused on my physical healing, that spiritually I haven’t grown as much as I would have liked, and there just hasn’t been as much fruit in the form of new music.

Nothing we try to do on our own strength is ever truly successful. So I’m going to shift my focus from healing the fibroids, to just being humble before The Most High. I believe that if I focus on spiritual growth and being humble before Him, everything else will fall into place.

But seek ye first the kingdom of Elohim, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. 

Matthew 6:33

I pray all of us will find the strength we need to keep on keeping on, no matter what our journey looks like, and especially when things don’t go as expected. Don’t loose hope, mishpacha. No matter what you’re going through. Keep trusting and believing. YAHUAH, The Most High is still in control.

You can leave a comment below if this resonated with you, or if you have some thoughts to share. Yah bless you and keep you under the shadow of His wings.

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